Remember that euphoric bicycle ride to the ice cream stand after you found that dollar bill blowing across the parking lot? You flew the whole way knowing you’d soon be enjoying not one, but two scoops of your favorite treat, and mom would never know.
Take that recollection and turn that tiny rumpled buck into a million of ‘em. Dress it up in a tux and escort it onto a private jet.
Your idea of a really dandy splurge is all grown up and now it wants to go to Las Vegas.
Here are some of the over-the-top ways to enjoy Las Vegas IMINO (If Money Is No Object).
• Private Jet -- Luxury Air Jets will wing you and buddy direct from New York to McCarran International aboard a Gulfstream IV for $60,000, round trip. www.luxuryairjets.com
• Hotel -- Make no mistake: Every single hotel in Las Vegas has high roller suites so lavish they’ll knock the pins right out from under you. But only The Palms Hotel has a suite that’ll let you return the favor. The bowling-themed Kingpin Suite features two regulation-size lanes that let you become your very own Big Lebowski. Cost: $15,000 per night. www.palms.com/rooms/fantasy-suites/kingpin-suite
• Rent your own private paparazzi -- What good is being a big shot if you look like just another plumbing fixtures salesman from Dubuque? Terry O’Connor, director of sales for Vegas hosting experts Red Carpet VIP, says he arranges this $5,000 stunt maybe twice a year. “It’s great fun,” he says. “Everyone stares, wonders who you are and then adds to the frenzy by taking your picture to show people back home.” http://vipnite.com/
• Steaks -- Some toddlers already proficient with TV remotes aren’t as aged as long or lovingly as the steaks at Carnevino, Mario Batali’s steak house. It’s where John Curtas, author of “Eating Las Vegas: The 50 Essential Restaurants,” goes to enjoy enjoys steaks aged 14 months. “The ribeye is so dense and delicious it’s almost ham-like.” The price is $100 -- that’s $100 per inch thickness. www.carnevino.com
• Own an ocean -- Mandalay Bay Beach has private cabanas spacious enough to accommodate up to 16 people with private pools and convenient access to the resort’s faux-cean fun. Cabanans range from $500 to $2,000 per day.
• Hamburgers -- Sure, you can have it your way at Fleur, but these days you can afford to have it Chef Hubert Keller’s way. That means the FleurBurger 5000. The Wagyu beef burger comes with foie gras and black truffle and a bottle of 1995 Chateau Petrus to wash it down costs $5,000. And, no, you’re not allowed to substitute the rarified vintage with, say, a Big Gulp Dr. Pepper. www.mandalaybay.com/dining/signature-restaurants/fleur.aspx
• A Really Smokin’ Shopping Place -- The Forum Shops at Caesar’s Palace is America’s most successful mall, attracting 15 million yearly visitors and earning nearly $1,000 per square foot (national average is $250 per). “This is perfect for couples,” Curtas says. “Theirs high end shopping and the guys can grab a good smoke at Casa Fuente, an outstanding cigar bar.”
• Exotic eats -- The old you might have collapsed at the idea of paying $300 for mostly uncooked food you didn’t even order. But that’s the fabled fare at Shaboo, Bar Masa’s exclusive restaurant-within-a-restaurant. It’s where master chef Masa Takayama creates edible art served omakase-style, loosely translated to, “Chef, you decide.” Curtas says entrusting dining decisions to Takayama in Vegas is no gamble.
• Cocktail -- It’s unlikely many convivial adults have spent a sum total of $3,000 on liquor in all the years since they departed puberty. You can now afford to spend that much on one drink. The playfully named “Menage a Trois” at Tryst in the Wynn Hotel is a sexy threesome of gold embellished grand liquors. The straw is gold and studded with a glittering 9-point diamond. www.trystlasvegas.com
• Nightclub -- Your jackpot now enables you to vaporize in one night what it used to take you six or seven years to earn. “We’ll get you right at the main table at XS in the Encore Casino,” says host O’Connor. “You’ll look like you own the place. From there you order the $100,000, 3-foot, 100-pound Midas bottle of Ace of Spades champagne and treat the whole club.” A night like that will cost you about $250,000 and will likely attract genuine papparazi. http://xslasvegas.com/
• Bauble -- Simon Ku-designed “Hello Kitty Pendant” with pink diamonds for bow, as worn by Brittany Spears: $50,000, at Ice Jewelry; http://icejewelry.com/
• Buffet -- Gluttony never craps out at the magnificent Sterling Sunday Brunch Buffet at The Steakhouse at Bally’s. For $62, you get unlimited champagne, caviar, lobster, sushi and, yeah, scrambled eggs. It’s every Sundays from 9:30 to 2:30 p.m. http://tiny.cc/isd61
• Entertainment -- What says Vegas entertainment better than a night at Cirque du Soleil? How about a night with Cirque du Soleil? For $260 per person, a limited number of guests at LOVE or Mystere receive choice seats, gift bags and intimate backstage tours.
• Dinner -- You might want to snag an Early Bird reservation at Joël Robuchon at The Mansion, not because you’ll get a senior saver discount on the $385 per person bill, but at 16 scrumptious courses, you’ll want a head start on a dinner that deserves to be savored. There are constellations magnified through the Hubble Telescope with fewer sparkling stars (and diamonds) than Robuchon’s illustrious restaurants have earned.
• The Ultimate Souvenir -- The Wynn Hotel has a Penske Ferrari-Maserati dealer that’ll be happy to sell you a 2009 Ferrari F430 Scuderi Red for $299,000. That ought to make a better impression than a kitschy hip-shaking Elvis clock you brought home last visit. www.penskewynnferrari.com/
• Ice Cream -- Feeling nostalgic for the days when two scoops was still a splurge? Celebrate the innocent recollection and order the Golden Opulence Sundae from Serendipity 3 at Caesar’s Palace. Made with Tahitian vanilla ice cream, rare Venezuelan cocoa beans and chocolates, exotic fruits and a 23-karat edible gold leaf. Requires a 48-hour advance order so better get on the phone now. Your jet is waiting. http://tiny.cc/af8es
Total cost, ballpark, this splurge, 1 person/1 night . . . $693,407.*
* Does not include tips.